


Hold me tight

by froopsen



Series: Take care [1]
Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Cuddles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Kya is such a precious angel and always cares about her patients, SUPER established relationship, aren't we all just trying?, healer!Kya, like they know each other super well by then, lin just wants to help but like sensitivity is not a strength of hers, she's trying tho, wlw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:20:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28341546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/froopsen/pseuds/froopsen
Summary: Lin comforts Kya after a patient doesn't make it and comfort comes in different forms.
Relationships: Lin Beifong/Kya II
Series: Take care [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2075463
Comments: 40
Kudos: 105





	Hold me tight

**Author's Note:**

> This is unbeta'd but fuck it. You can't come for me.

Kya dropped her duffle bag as soon as she walked into the apartment. She kicked off her left shoe but when she tried to do the same with her right, she tripped and almost hit her head against the bench she should have sat down on instead. She cursed out loud and the tears she had been trying so hard to ignore, came running down her cheeks, resulting in an angry groan that might have been a yell. Lin, apparently startled by the thuds and curses coming from the front door, made her way over from the bathroom.

Kya looked up from her place on the floor, because why get up if you were going to fucking trip again? She noticed Lin’s hair was still damp. _She showered midday. She’s home midday? Right, weekend._ She also noticed the exact moment Lin saw the tears on her face, because the earthbender’s expression changed from irritated and about to make a smart comment to worried in the matter of seconds.

“Kya!” she gasped, squatting down next to her.

Kya felt Lin’s strong hand wrap around her bicep in an effort to hold her up.

“Where does it hurt?” Lin asked, scanning Kya’s body.

Kya let another angry grunt slip, before she spat, “It doesn’t hurt, I didn’t fall.”

Lin flinched, retracting her hand, “Sorry.”

“I’m so fucking angry, Lin,” she said, before another sob slipped. Lin didn’t reach out another hand when Kya stomped and exploded up from the floor.

“Do you need space?” she asked, quickly trying not to make whatever was bothering her even worse.

“No, Lin,” she hissed, walking into the apartment, flinging her scarf away – she didn’t really care where it landed, just that it wasn’t wrapped around her anymore, “I just need for people not to fucking die, _all the time_ ,” she yelled and Lin thought the walls might shake.

Lin nodded, walking to the kitchen. Tea was in order, because the way Kya’s voice had just broken mid-sentence showed her, she wouldn’t be angry for much longer and her mood would shift into the one where she wanted Lin to hold her so tight that she couldn’t concentrate on much else and then, she’d want tea; citrus tea, to be exact.

Lin was always exact. She set the kettle on the stove and heard the couch screech when Kya plopped down on it, probably moving it a good distance in the process.

Kya had called her the past three evenings, informing her, that she’d be staying at the hospital yet another night. Lin hadn’t minded, seeing as the cold weather had prompted more accidents, thus more paperwork. Now she felt a pang of guilt for not having asked more about the case Kya was staying at the hospital for. She just did sometimes. Lin hadn’t given much thought as to why. The answer seemed rather simple: she had to work.

While the water heated and Kya breathed and cursed out her anger, Lin followed the trail of scarf and boots, to put them where they were supposed to be, ending with the duffle bag, now full of old clothes. Lin had dropped them off clean at the hospital on her way to work the day before. She hadn’t wanted Kya to have to spend however long she’d stay in same clothes. Kya always complained about that.

Lin stopped counting the variations of ‘fuck’ Kya was coming up with when the water was hot enough for her to pour it into the cups. She walked over to her, setting the tray down on the coffee table. Kya hadn’t plopped down on the sofa. Instead, she was sitting in front of it on the floor, leaning against it. The frown on her face made Lin wonder if what her teachers used to tell her – “stop frowning, or it’ll stay like that” – had some truth to it, because for the moment being, Lin couldn’t remember any other expression on Kya’s face. The sheer fury she saw was one of the only things that could make Lin Beifong stop in her tracks. Only the knowledge that it hadn’t been her, who had caused it, made her brave enough to step into Kya’s space.

“Kya,” she murmured, testing if she was already in the hold-me-stage of her anger.

Kya looked up at her and the fury changed to broken so quickly, Lin had to blink to make sure it wasn’t her imagination desperate to change Kya’s face into anything _but_ fury.

“I hate it,” Kya sighed, “I hate it so much, Lin.”

She nodded, though she didn’t quite understand – but she would in time.

“Come on, at least get off the floor.”

Kya heaved herself up onto the cushions and Lin sat down next to her.

“Come here.”

Kya let herself fall into Lin’s arms, and they shifted and turned until Lin laid on her back and Kya between her legs, on top of her.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you,” she murmured into Lin’s chest.

Lin sucked on her teeth. She couldn’t care less. “What happened?”

“He died,” Kya squeezed her eyes shut, wiping her tears on Lin’s tank top, “He fucking died, Lin.”

She tapped on Lin’s arms and felt them wrap around herself. She took a deep breath, feeling Lin’s warm skin seep through her clothes and carefully she moved a little higher to bury her face in Lin’s neck.

“I stayed there, for _nothing_. I filled out these papers, did all these tests, analyzed his life for _nothing_ ,” she spoke, “I told his sister we had done everything we could for _nothing_ , because how the fuck does that help her now?”

Lin dropped a kiss to her head, breathing in Kya’s shampoo. She felt some tension leave her lover’s body, so she tried her best to hold her closer, tighter.

Lin didn’t feel comfortable asking all these questions because she didn’t want to push. She still did. At one point she’d found out Kya wanted her to ask like this – probably just when she’d realized that what the two of them called ‘healers-anger’ had a process. So she asked. “How did he die?”

“His heart was too weak and gave out during the last part of the surgery.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, placing another kiss, this time on her cheek. It made her neck strain, but she didn’t care.

The angry tears had stopped and after another silence, Kya spoke on her own. “He was 22,” she continued, “and he came in and he said his legs hurt really bad and that he thought it was progressing through his body, that he felt like his blood was boiling sometimes.” She paused when the boy’s face – because he really was just a boy – flashed in her head. “He was so polite and didn’t want to be an inconvenience to anyone.”

Lin flinched when Kya kissed her neck, not expecting it, but not mentioning it either.

“On the first day one of the healers made fun of him, saying his muscles were just sore and that it probably came from walking too many stairs at university. That it would do him good, since he was so skinny.”

Lin frowned, “How rude.”

Kya chuckled, “He didn’t even care. He just assured him he knew what sore muscles felt like and that it wasn’t what he was experiencing.”

“You believed him, right?” She already knew the answer, but she felt Kya drifting off to that zone where it was hard to soothe her back from again. She’d made that mistake of letting her drift, once.

“Of course,” Kya answered, “someone had to.”

After another silence, she scoffed, “Wow, what a hero I am.” Her statement was laced with sharp sarcasm and Lin almost commented on it, before realizing it would be all but helpful.

“We don’t even know what he had. We just _tried_. Anything I used, anything I felt, it was new and I didn’t know _why_. The whole fucking world I traveled and it was _new._ Something was so wrong with him and I still don’t know what it was.”

Lin sighed. This was going to be much different than other patients Kya had lost. She knew. The cases Lin had never solved were the ones she couldn’t forget and Kya wasn’t all that different. Some just got to you, she had her fair share of victims and witnesses she couldn’t forget. Though Lin reckoned there was much more hopelessness involved this time. _And a young one, too._

“The surgery wasn’t even planned. But then…he got so much worse overnight,” she explained, kissing the side of Lin’s throat again – which, by now the earthbender was sure was some sort of comfort-seeking. Lin held her tighter.

“I spent so much time in his room in that uncomfortable brown chair. Spirits I hated that chair,” Kya groaned. Lin made a mental note to offer her a massage later.

“He told me so many things about him. I never get to know patients like that. Not at the hospital anyways,” Kya sighed, “and then he-“

Lin, confused at how suddenly she’d broken off her sentence, looked down at Kya. “Then he what?”

“Nothing.”

“That’s a bad lie,” slipped from Lin’s lips before she could put any semblance of sensitivity behind the words.

Kya raised her head and then, because that wasn’t enough to show how irritated she was, her brows followed.

“I’m sorry,” Lin momentarily shut her eyes, sighing, “Will you still tell me what happened?”

Kya shot her a quizzical look. “I don’t know if I should tell you,” she replied seriously, her eyes scanning Lin’s face.

“It usually makes you feel better,” she hummed, now overly careful to put softness into her tone, “Unless he broke the law, then you maybe shouldn’t.“

“No, no. Nothing like that,” she murmured, laying her head back down, breathing in Lin’s scent.

“I talked to him before the surgery and he was so scared.”

Lin felt some tears dropping onto her skin and she tried not to focus too hard on how much it tickled. There was a long silence and Lin didn’t know if she should press again, deciding against it. She had asked so many questions already.

“I told him about you and how I wouldn’t be half as happy without you.” Lin felt a halfhearted smile pressed against her skin, “When you brought my clothes, that’s when he asked and I told him.”

Lin wondered how easily she’d told him, then noticed that maybe Kya really had got to know him to an extend she usually tried to avoid with patients.

“And before the surgery he brought it up,” she gave in, “that was the moment he broke or whatever you’d call it. Just when I’d begun to think he was some miracle person who just wasn’t scared and always content and polite, but then he broke and said how he wasn’t ever going to get what we have if he dies. I was trying to make him feel like his whole life was ahead of him, because we found each other when…well, we’re old, aren’t we?” She paused once more and Lin smiled. “And instead he just realized how soon his life might end.”

Anytime Kya remembered that he really was dead now, her voice dropped and this chilling calmness entered her words.

“That sounds-“ Lin was searching and then after a moment settled on, “what was he, 22?”

“He was. Spirits, he shouldn’t have been thinking about dying.”

“No,” Lin agreed.

There was another silence and Lin could feel Kya contemplating the next words.

“I kissed him.”

“You-” Lin cut herself off, not sure she’d heard right.

“He just kept rambling on about how he hadn’t even kissed anyone and how he was going to die. Then he asked me if I would, because if he was going to die, he might as well ask his pretty healer.”

“So,” Lin mumbled, processing, “You kissed him?”

“Yes,” Kya chuckled, “He was really bad at it. Definitely his first kiss. He was so embarrassed afterwards and so sweet. He said that my lips were so soft. I just wanted him to be less scared.”

And because Lin felt a knot forming in her throat and didn’t know what else to say, she whispered, “Did it work?”

“Mhm,” Kya hummed, “He was calmer then.”

“You have that effect on people,” Lin murmured, kissing her head again.

“And I told him he needed practice and how he was going to fall in love when we fixed whatever was wrong with him,” she remembered, swallowing hard, “and then he died.”

Lin sighed at the bitterness in Kya’s voice and felt how Kya’s weight made it easy for the air to leave her lungs, something she was acutely focusing on before whispering, “I understand.”

Kya wanted to apologize for how she had taken over the afternoon, wanted to ask how _Lin_ was doing, but then his face flashed before her eyes and she felt more tears coming. When Lin’s arms loosened around her just the slightest bit, the tears rolled freely. Kya was done talking and she hoped Lin could feel it, because she didn’t have the energy to tell her.

“It’s okay,” Lin murmured against her hair, tightening her embrace again, “I understand.”

Her neck would hurt, because Kya would fall asleep like this, if the bags under her eyes were anything to go by, but Lin couldn’t bring herself to care about her neck at that moment. All she could do, was hold Kya impossibly closer, feeling her heartbeat against her own chest and watch the tea; disgustingly cold by now. She reached over to the tray to get her a tissue.

“Thank you,” Kya croaked.

“Of course,” Lin smiled, glad to have brought them with her, “Don’t forget to breathe.”

\---------------------------------------------------- 

Lin hadn’t slept like Kya, but she’d dozed for a few minutes here and there. She’d spent the majority of Kya’s nap thinking back to a case years ago and found her eyes pricking with tears every now and again, but she’d managed to blink them away every time.

Lin felt the moment Kya woke, because her breathing had changed. She also noticed the moment when Kya remembered where they were and why they’d found themselves in this position, because Lin felt Kya’s shaky sigh right on her neck. She didn’t say anything. Her upper back was semi-numb and she was positive one of her legs had fallen asleep. She wasn’t sure for how long they’d been laying there nor how long it would take for Kya to get off her again, but she wouldn’t ask her to do so.

“Lin,” Kya whispered, “Are you awake?”

“Mhm,” Lin hummed, “How did you sleep?”

“How long-“

“I don’t know, it’s dark now,” Lin interrupted.

Kya pressed a kiss to Lin’s skin and took a deep breath once more, before untangling herself and sitting up with a long groan.

Lin took her time when Kya was standing, sitting up, carefully, reaching behind herself to run her knuckles along her spine and twisting her torso to relief some tension with a few powerful cracks. “We really are old,” she mumbled. She’d been right, her left leg was asleep, so she smacked it a little to regain blood flow.

“How often have I told you not to do that! Just massage it lightly and wait,” Kya scolded with a tired smile.

Lin rolled her eyes but followed the instructions.

A while later, Lin was leaning against the kitchen counter, watching Kya prepare another citrus tea.

She was cleaning some spilled water with a cloth when she spoke again. “You didn’t react like I thought you would.”

Lin raised a curious eyebrow, then remembered what Kya was likely talking about. “What _did_ you expect? Me throwing a fit because you kissed a patient?” _Not like he’s some sort of competition,_ she almost added.

Kya didn’t look at her.

“Kya, I’m joking. Do you really think that little of me?”

Kya turned, sighing, “No, of course not. It’s just,” she paused, walking over and wrapping her arms around Lin’s waist, “The way you spoke.”

Lin evaded her gaze. “Don’t, Kya.”

“Don’t?”

Lin sighed, still not facing her. “Don’t try to search for something to comfort. When you’re in pain you always try and go find something that you can heal. I’ll gladly hold you but if you need a distraction from your patient, prying is not it.”

Kya leaned against her, closing the hug, before shimmying against her until Lin uncrossed her arms and swung them around her. “I hate that you’re right. But it really does help,” she admitted, seeking Lin’s warm skin, planting a kiss on the crook of her neck.

“You’re the one who always says how important it is to give feelings their room,” Lin quoted her.

Kya ignored her. “What did you mean, when you said you understood?”

Lin sighed once more. Kya wouldn’t drop it. Would it really make her feel better if Lin talked about it?

“You caught that?” Lin spoke, buying herself more time to contemplate.

“You said it twice,” she retorted.

“I didn’t think you were listening.”

Kya pressed a few more kisses, first to Lin’s neck, then her cheek, then her lips and their eyes locked. She hadn’t really looked at Lin this afternoon – or evening. Her hair was dry now, slightly messy and wavier than usual. She saw the concern in Lin’s features. It was utterly subtle, almost invisible, but she’d seen it too often not to know it for what it was.

“What happened?” Kya asked.

Lin’s gaze dropped to Kya’s collarbone, what happened whenever she tried to evade her. “Like I said, I understand,” she mumbled.

The moment ended abruptly when Lin moved out and away to the bedroom.

“I’ll be back in a second. Go sit down, I’ll take care of the tea and make us some dinner, you don’t have to do anything.”

Kya sighed, but didn’t protest. Lin would come around, she’d have to ask about it again in the future, maybe tomorrow, when they’d had a decent amount of sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> lmk what you think :)


End file.
